Seniors or Criminals: Who is better off?

While Eddy & Schein tends to focus primarily on keeping our clients "in community" (at home), we cannot ignore the realities of the conditions we hear about in nursing homes all over the country.  This time rather then contribute more doom and gloom, I thought I would share with you an amusing and somewhat eerie solution that one of my colleagues, Lewis Knopf, shared with me:

Here's the way it should be - Let's put the seniors in jail and the prisoners in nursing homes. 

This would correct many inequities in one motion:

  • Seniors would have access to showers, hobbies and walks
  • They would receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs, etc.
  • They would receive money instead of having to pay it out
  • They would have constant video monitoring, so they would be helped instantly... If they fell or needed assistance
  • Bedding would be washed twice a week and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them
  • A guard would check on them every 20 minutes
  • All meals and snacks would be brought to them
  • They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose
  • They would have access to a library, weight/fitness room, spiritual counseling, a pool and education...and free admission to in-house concerts by nationally recognized entertainment artists
  • Simple clothing - ie, shoes, slippers, pj's - and legal aid would be free, upon request
  • There would be private, secure rooms provided for all with an outdoor exercise yard complete with gardens
  • Each senior would have a P.C., T.V., phone and radio in their room at no cost
  • They would receive daily phone calls
  • There would be a board of directors to hear any complaints and fight for their rights and protection
  • The guards would have a code of conduct to be strictly adhered to, with attorneys available, at no charge to protect the seniors and their families from abuse or neglect

As for the criminals:

  • They would receive cold food
  • They would be left alone and unsupervised
  • They would receive showers once a week
  • They would live in tiny rooms, for which they would have to pay $5,000 per month
  • They would have no hope of ever getting out

"Sounds like justice to me!"

 

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