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Don't Let Senile Dementia Catch You Unprepared
Suddenly we have an increasing
number of calls by people about loved ones in the beginning stages of dementia
or Alzheimer’s. Because of their
condition, we find our new clients:
- Very lucid and intelligent and easily offended
if treated otherwise
- Are able to handle money and the use of credit
cards with an outward appearance of normalcy
- Handle paperwork just sufficiently to appear in
control
- Think they are in control when often they are
not
- Will lose track of time or the day of the week
and, as a result, appointments are missed
- May, uncharacteristically, run up credit card
debts or miss bill payments
- Are unable to handle unsolicited calls well
- When faced with an answering machine, they don’t
leave coherent messages
- Don’t recognize the need for help
- Are often in and out of reality
- May occasionally get lost
How do we honor the
intelligence they once had, and still have, while relieving them of the
responsibilities which they are neglecting? Working from the financial side, we experience how complicated the
situation is.
Don't Let Senile Dementia Catch You Unprepared - Clients' Stories
Rebecca has three new
clients which have brought this question to the fore –
Maria is in the midst of adjusting
to having a legal guardian handling her financial affairs. A month ago an attorney who has guardianship
for Maria requested that Rebecca meet with his client once a week to collect
mail, research whether she has a current will, help her cash a check for weekly
expenses, as well as learn about the client’s living family members and find their
contact information. Maria is charming
and chatty and has very clear, well explained, reasons why she should be
handling her money herself. None-the-less, she calls Rebecca several times a day to find out when
they are going to the bank to get cash.
Joyce has had her neighbors
worried about her safety and health for a few months now. She teaches English part time, enjoys walking
to concerts in the neighborhood and getting together with friends. Recently she forgot to teach her class, left
for her Thanksgiving weekend with her sister a few days too soon, was slurring
her speech, and began to allow mail to accumulate in her apartment. Joyce is probably too high functioning to be
in the neighborhood’s assisted living facility for Alzheimer clients. She needs twice daily medication reminders,
but probably is not ready to have a home health aide. We seem to have found a solution through a
Home Health Aide agency which can supervise her medications and make phone
calls to remind her.
Lydia has been retired for twenty years. She was a writer for an ad agency for her
career. Based on one conversation,
Rebecca was able to glean from
Lydia
that after retirement she filled her days easily. She had meals with friends, conversing about
books and movies, went bicycle riding, enjoyed the company of her dog and
dabbled in painting. From the piles of The New Yorker
Lydia was discharged in the care of
a home health aide from a nursing home where she had been for rehab. Rebecca was brought in to help her deal with
her finances. At first the tasks at hand
appeared to be the normal consequence of
Lydia having had a series of
medical problems which kept her from paying her bills or submitting her tax
returns. However, the physical therapist
who has worked with
Lydia
after two discharges from the nursing home is convinced that the problem is
dementia. The home health aide reports
that there is disorientation in the evenings and forgetfulness during the day.
Rebecca has also had to deal with
Lydia’s forgetfulness. At first
Lydia
said she had no will, Health Care Proxy, or Power of Attorney, but the attorney
Rebecca hired for
Lydia was
able to ascertain, through conversation with
Lydia, that she does have a will
and where it is located. On another day,
when told that the IRS was sending letters saying she had not submitted tax
returns for 2006,
Lydia
understood that there was a problem, but she could not tell Rebecca if she had
an accountant who could be contacted around the apartment and
the wide variety of books, it is clear she loved to read as well.
When Senile Dementia
Catches You Unprepared – Some Suggestions
When family members discover
that their loved ones have changed since the last get together there tends to
be panic about what to do. The fine line
between competency and incompetency creates a delicate situation for those
trying to help. It can be very difficult
to handle the situation without assistance. As mentioned in previous newsletters, we encourage the building of a
team so that medical, legal and financial plans can be created. This way loved ones can be helped to function
better now (or at least stabilize) and to be prepared for any mental or physical
deterioration in the future. The goal is
to have everything in place while a loved one is still competent enough to
understand the decisions that are being made and to get used to the newly
created routines. Everyone needs to have
a Health Care Proxy and a Power of Attorney to prepare for the unexpected. However, if we find that a loved one is
losing mental capacity, there is greater urgency to have the documents prepared
while the loved one is still capable of making the needed decisions. If the necessary documents are not in place
when it becomes apparent that a loved one can no longer handle his/her own
affairs, then guardianship proceedings may be required. It is easy to ignore signs that a family
member is not “all there”, or to think that there has been a temporary setback. The inclination may be to keep the peace, to
not pry into personal affairs. None-the-less, uncomfortable planning needs to take place now in order
to make the future as comfortable as possible.
Rebecca and Gideon's Speaking Engagements
Rebecca and Gideon are available to speak to groups on a variety of topics related to seniors and their families.
Sunday, February 1, 2009 from 2 to 4 PM at Sunrise Senior Living at Mill Basin, Brooklyn
Rebecca and Gideon will address the topic: "Life changes and changing relationships with financial, legal and service
professionals; how to plan for your future care, given the reality of your
financial present.”
Previous Newsletters Archived
At any time, from our home page at http://www.eddyandschein.com, you can click on the “View Archives” link situated below the subscription sign up space.
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If you found our newsletter informational or useful, please scroll down to the bottom of the page and click on the link below - Forward to a friend - to send it to anyone else who would benefit from it!
Please feel free to contact us and take advantage of our free telephone consultation. We would be happy to talk to you about how we can provide Life Keeping, Not Just Bookkeeping®.
Sincerely,
Copyright, January 2009, Eddy & Schein, Inc.
About Us
Partners Rebecca R. Eddy and Gideon Y. Schein, both MBAs and certified Professional Daily Money Managers, have a primary focus on the needs of an aging population:
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Seniors who need help in organizing and streamlining tasks such as expense and revenue tracking, bill paying, health insurance claims management, or providing regularly required information to accountants and lawyers.
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Seniors who may or may not have an estate plan in place, but need to catalog assets and personal effects and coordinate and track philanthropic activity.
To learn more about us, check out the May 2008 issue of Kiplinger’s Retirement Report. It describes the services of daily money managers and quotes one of our clients.
Our Promise
Eddy & Schein In-Home Administrators for Seniors® is dedicated to making life easier when it comes to managing seniors' personal administrative matters. From simply gathering and paying bills each month to performing a complete review of seniors' financial and personal affairs, we provide exactly the help needed. Working with Eddy & Schein, clients are given private, one-on-one attention at home. Together, we’ll develop a plan to address our clients' specific needs. And of course, privacy is strictly guaranteed.
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